At 2 am my mother awoke to find the electricity had come back on. She rushed to the kitchen to bake bread, praying that it would not cut off until she had finished cooking.
We now only eat two meals a day—it saves on food and on electricity. We have enough food for another week, but then what? A sack of flour has gone from 180 shekels to 250 shekels. Most families will not be able to afford it and people are scared even to go around the corner to get bread from bakeries due to fear of their lives being taken. The bakeries have run out of flour. Even if we have flour, what use is it if we do not have the fuel to cook with?
My sister in the east of the Gaza Strip has had no electricity for five days; they are living their lives in almost complete darkness.
We have now started using our last ten liters of benzene, as we heard rumors a few days ago that the tunnels were going to be bombed by the Israeli military, my father and I ran out to buy as much fuel as we could. We have been rationing it for the past few days but it will not last forever. I think we have about ten hours left and then we might face total darkness for who knows how long.
This offensive has come at a time of extreme poverty and unemployment in the Gaza Strip. A year of 1.5 million people being caged in this tiny strip of land has rendered the situation even more desperate for us. Even banks are closed, so those who do have money cannot even get it.
This morning while my mother was looking after my son of 15 months, another attack struck. She rushed from the kitchen where she was standing to my child, who had apparently wondered around in search of something to hug until he found his five-year-old cousin. Their tiny arms embraced each other in fear.
I spoke with my father and mother, asking them how this situation compares with 1967. They said that they have not witnessed anything like this since that memorable date in history. But who knows what will come next? It could get worse in the coming days.
Water is proving a huge problem for over 60 percent of the Gazan population who are only able to get it for a few hours once a week. We dug a well about a year ago so water is not a problem for us at the moment but what about those who do not have this option, how are they coping?
Another attack hit while the sky was filled with clouds and rain. For ten minutes my wife and I debated whether or not the sound we had heard was in fact an attack or thunder, we ended up laughing at our own conversation, what did it matter anyway?
As the New Year approaches, I think of what our wishes as Palestinians will be for the coming year, much the same as in previous years; to be treated as humans, to live our lives with dignity, to live peacefully next to our neighbors in Israel and for the Israeli government and the world to recognize our rights as humans. We are not asking for much. We want to be secure, for our children to be safe and sheltered, to have enough food and to make a living—to enjoy our lives.
I dream of being able to travel outside of Gaza, even if it is just for one day to watch others enjoying their lives so that we can feel a sense of relief.
The last time I left Gaza was just over a year ago. When I returned, it was at the time when Hamas had been democratically elected into power. Not being able to get back in due to restrictions imposed by the Israeli government, I was locked in a room first in Egypt and then near the Erez crossing for 60 days. I had little food and only my clothes to cushion the hard ground.
When I finally got home, I vowed that I would never repeat that experience again. Today, I would readily be locked up for 60 days for just a few hours outside of this living nightmare. We have been locked up for over 18 months because of the blockade, now my family and I are confined to one room in a constant state of fear. What kind of life is this?
For the New Year, I hope that the world will celebrate, because I wish with my whole heart that we could all be celebrating with you. Instead, while many are watching the fireworks light up the sky in celebration, we will be looking up at the same sky watching bombs illuminate our houses, hoping that the New Year will bring us peace.
